USA Indianapolis a Nula Khuang Lian Pari chu December thla khan bawlhhlawh bawmah a ruang chhar a ni a, tu nge that tia an chhui laiin state danga a bialpa (an pa) Peter Van Bawi lian chu USA sipai a thawhna atang a tlan bo. A hnu an chhui a, USA atang Hongkong ah, Hongkong atang Thailand lamah air tiket atang an hre thei. Chumi piahlam chu hriat theih a ni ta lo a ni.
Hun a rawn her zel a, Peter van Bawi lian chuan tihian english in sei deuh takin fuihna thu ang reng a rawn sawi teuh mai. Lo chhiar ve ru.
My days are numbered. Neither a countdown nor up, just numbered. Not a specific number in mind but my superstition and horoscope says I might not make it to 22 (sorry Taylor Swift). As a living being, that is. My last hope would be to not let the audience read this as a letter or view it as a will, but rather a change, a much needed change in this world.
Growing up, I wanted to change the world but didn’t know how. That ambition was stolen from me by some unspeakable act of evil right after I turned 17. Then I became realistic. I knew then being good wasn’t enough. Like all lessons in life, I had to learn it the hard way. I learned what sexual abuse (incest) was from a Chin family of my first love. It crippled me. The start of the ripple effect. Soon after, my faith in humanity was restored from youtube videos, maybe it was cat videos or could be strangers saving puppies.
Although the deed is evil, there is good intention behind it. So I identify as Thanos. Wait, incels might make a meme out of that line. Oh well, they are an interesting subject to study for sure. Anyway, “Deeds, not words”. Action does speak louder than words. These days, even if people voice their opinions and stand up for what they believe in, without some form of action, NFL scandals were more important, or should I say fundraising for new church buildings, to acknowledge the Chin community. Hell, even school shooters got fan mail! My thoughts are jumbled up because I want to get to the heart of this problem just as much as you do. But you aren’t ready for the climax without a backstory. This might sound like a cult but I heard it somewhere: “We live in the dark to serve the light.” And I’m no cult leader. The real cult is going on in the family of my dearest wife. Blinded by religion. Preserving reputation at all costs. Especially the double trouble: Saw Lin and his wife, Neih Neih. The two rats, the two hypocrites!
You see, I knew I had a mental issue(s). Knowing it could hurt my career and not very eager to be labeled “patient”, I never made that call for a diagnosis. Call it OCD, personality disorder, whatever. I was obsessed with her past. Extreme jealousy and anxiety of being cheated on. I couldn’t imagine her with any other guy, let alone being a single mom with some stepdad for my child. My unborn child. My core values were simple: loyalty, family, and love. You could say I did it out of love.
Before I continue in further detail, I need this letter to be read by both sides of the family and also the hypocrites “Chins” and the cult “Chin Christians”. I need this translated into Burmese and Chin, word for word like the Bible. This is not for me but rather for you all to change your ways. I even thought about scheduling an interview with 60 minutes or CCN. I finally stood up for what I believe in; my core values are above those blinded by religion, those cults, those hypocrites. Sure, call me an attention whore. Call me a monster. You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain. I am not playing the blame game. I don’t want anymore grief from either side of the family.
She was dead the day she became Neih Neih and Sung’s sister. She had a good chance of winning a local beauty pageant. She wanted to and I supported her. I said, “Do it before you get married or you might miss the chance and regret it later”. But as you might have guessed. Her sisters. Such control freaks. Neih Neih would call my wife daily and demanded she return to Indiana after we have eloped. We got married, legally and happily, after plans for a wedding ceremony failed. Though I had half saved up already. Surprise proposal with a three thousand dollar halo diamond ring. We agreed to start our own family. I loved her too much. To a fault. However, the pressure to please her sisters was too much to handle. So the dv case happened. Then we were separated. She was back to her sisters.
My wife didn’t understand the protection order. So she called me and announced she was 6 weeks pregnant. We both wanted our first baby together. I even had a dream of having a little boy. Her sisters forced her to get an abortion. My wife would cry to me to save our child, every night over the phone. I was already in a position where I could not do anything to help. I couldn’t watch her suffer like that. I wanted her to be happy. She begged and begged to everyone, to be a mother.
I want everyone to know that for me it was about my love and starting my own family that I wanted to stop her from getting an abortion. Religion here has nothing to do with it. Unlike you hypocrites, where as you would go to church this Sunday and get choked on the pastor saying abortion is a sin and you swore to not commit that very sin. A week later, you spit on your sister and slap her and force her to get an abortion. Where is your religion now? Jesus saves? My wife told me everything. For the sake of her sisters’ reputation, she said she would do it. If you are willing t.. Mesenger ah a leng lova ka thlen chin ka hre lova ka ti bung palh.
Keep in mind days leading up to this, we loved each other more than ever before. Her sisters also forced her to divorce me. Again, she begged. Again, hypocrites swore marriage was God-made and sacred. They swore they did not believe in divorce. God’s will? No, we have free will.